i rolled over and shut off the alarm. read the text but it didn't really sink in. i reread the text as i walked back to the living room after getting a drink. it sunk in and i felt like all of the air was being sucked out of my lungs and i just collapsed. my legs didn't work anymore and everything hurt. i could not stop crying. i tried and i couldn't. i feel stupid. i feel alone. i have never been as hurt as i am right now. i trusted him and i believed what he said and he bailed. just walked away. somehow, i managed to make it through today without crying even though i'm ripped apart inside. even if he knew how bad i hurt right now i doubt he'd care at all. he's just not into it anymore. i was happy with him. my favorite thing in the world was when we were lying in bed and he just held on to me or ran his fingertips up and down my back. i got butterflies every single time he kissed me. i really did trust him and i really believed him when he said on the way home that he wouldn't hurt me. can i go back to the beginning of july? i didn't know anything could hurt this much.