my doctor's office called yesterday to tell me they found some cancerous cells and need to take a closer look. i don't want to know, even if i need to. what if i need chemo or something? i won't have health insurance after this year.
he messaged me last night to let me know he finally got his satin cow mice. he thought i should know. i miss him a lot. every now and then, i'll see something he posts or hear something he says or remember something we did and it's like it's sunday all over again.
like popping stitches. it almost hurts worse each subsequent time...
dance seems to be going pretty well. i need to work on improving flexibility pretty fast. i've been told at each class that my form is beautiful and no one believes me when i tell them i've had no formal training before now. some people laugh at me when i tell them i'm taking ballet to get back into shape. i don't think they have any clue how extremely demanding it is, both physically and mentally. i'm sure it gets a lot easier once you start to automatically do things like remember where your shoulders and hips should be and to tighten every muscle in your core to maintain posture while moving, counting and listening to the instructor. when i'm dancing everything outside of the room and the mirror and the bars and the pointe shoes no longer exists. it requires more focus and more attention than anything else i've ever done. it's definitely a good thing for me and i really love it. i feel so much better about everything after dance. before dance, too. i look forward to dance nights and i feel like a different person when i leave. it's kinda cool actually.
'i feel like i am walking on air'
i'd rather be dancing.
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